Catch All The Girlfriends! 2 Read online

“No really. What do you kids say nowadays? When you came into my lab over two hours late covered in sweat, I thought you ‘totally sucked ass’?”

  “Yes, that’s… that’s right.”

  “Any man can command his girlfriend to fight, weaken a wild girlfriend and capture her. You have something special if girlfriends are choosing to be with you on their own accord. I’m comfortable with you keeping Serenette.”

  Yoshi looked at him with renewed respect. “Thanks, Professor.” Poke nodded sagely. “Oh by the way, do you know where I can get a new GF-wiki?”

  “What happened to the one your father gave you?” Yoshi explained the hair-raising situation back in the Celeste Caverns. “I see. That is a predicament. I’d imagine they should sell them in town. Though they don’t come cheap. The last I heard, they were in the region of 150,000 Coins.”

  “150,000 Coins?” he spluttered. That’ll take me ages to save up. He sighed, settling his chin onto his forearms. There were large translucent pipes arcing overhead above the roof. Water rushed through them and they rattled as people zipped through, hands crossed over their chests like bikini and boardshort-wearing mummies.

  “This is your first time in Sapphire, isn’t it?” Poke asked. Yoshi nodded. “Sapphire is also known as the ‘funnest, wettest city in Ohno’. At least that’s what the mayor calls it.”

  “Where did you hear that?”

  “There’s a big sign right by the entrance to the cave with the mayor’s head on it.” Yoshi shook his head. He had been somewhat preoccupied on his way into Sapphire.

  “So the entire city is filled with water slides?”

  “I’ll… let you figure that one out for yourself.” Poke pushed himself off the railing. “Come on, let’s go and formalize the transfer of the Serenette from me to you.”

  2

  The Global Girlfriend Network

  Welcome to the Global Girlfriend Network.

  Please scan ID.

  How did I not notice these before? Back inside the Mr. Pampers, sliding doors hissed open as another trainer left, having completed his team building. Yoshi was sitting in a five-by-five-foot booth with three walls, enclosed by a sliding curtain behind him. The booth was one of a dozen in the room.

  He sat hunched over on the stool staring at the slick, black, glass panel in front of him. It pulsed every second, gridlines appearing and fading each time.

  “You signed in there yet?” Poke asked from the booth next to his.

  “Just about to.”

  Yoshi pulled his ID out of his wallet and held it an inch away from the panel. A vertical line slowly swept across the panel, like a photocopier. The gridlines appeared and there was a pleasant chime.

  Please place your hand on the panel.

  Yoshi obeyed the voice prompt. Once again, the vertical line of green light swept across the screen. A loading modal of a GF-ring spun in circles for a couple seconds before there was another pleasant chime.

  Welcome, Yoshi Soysauce.

  What would you like to do today?

  Adopt

  Deposit

  Release

  Send

  Trade

  Withdraw

  “Give me a second, Yoshi. I’ll let you know when I’m ready.” Poke said.

  Yoshi stared at the options on the panel. He hadn’t put much thought into the make-up of his team. Like numerous people had stated, having a balance of types was the key to being a successful trainer.

  He pressed the ‘Deposit’ option and the panel blinked once. To the right of the panel, six sockets forming the corners of a hexagon lit up with a gentle glow.

  Place the rings of the girlfriends you wish to deposit into the interface.

  Yoshi took out each of his rings and cupped them in one hand. One by one, he pressed them into the sockets until he heard a click. The front wall of the booth that had been previously unlit now blazed to life. A grid screen of gray lines appeared. It was divided up into six, vertical rectangles. In each rectangle was a pint-sized version of the girlfriend that had accompanied Yoshi in the field.

  They rotated slowly, shifting their weight from side to side, completely unaware that they currently existed at the interface between the GGN and the real world. Or perhaps they were aware but had no way of expressing it through the GGN.

  Yoshi scrolled through the stats for each girlfriend absent-mindedly.

  NAME: Serenette (Starry)

  NATURE: Reserved

  TYPE: Interstellar

  ACC.: Cat Eyes Tee

  LEVEL: 21

  HP: 72/72

  - ATTACK: 21

  - DEFENCE: 17

  - SPCL ATTACK: 23

  - SPCL DEFENCE: 23

  - SPEED: 19

  MOVESET:

  Gaze - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Lower defence by staring into opponent’s eyes, stun effect for 3 seconds.)

  Siren Song - Type: Interstellar - 30/30 PP (Devastates foes with a hope-dashing song, 40% chance of confusion.)

  NAME: Sophie (Soph)

  NATURE: Bossy

  TYPE: Flying

  ACC.: Denim Jacket

  LEVEL: 17

  HP: 62/62

  - ATTACK: 21 (+2)

  - DEFENCE: 15

  - SPCL ATTACK: 15

  - SPCL DEFENCE: 14

  - SPEED: 21

  MOVESET:

  Bird Run - Type: Flying - 35/35 PP (Run at foes and crash tackle them)

  Sand Screen - Type: Normal - 40/40 PP (Lower accuracy by kicking and flapping sand up into opponent’s face)

  Fell Swoop - Type: Flying - 20/20 PP (Launch up and dive at foe. 5% recoil damage)

  Dagger Wing - Type: Steel - 15/15 PP (strike down foes with sharpened metallic wings [bird-kin only])

  NAME: Felicity (Flick)

  NATURE: Playful

  TYPE: Water

  ACC.: Iridescentia

  LEVEL: 22

  HP: 80/80

  - ATTACK: 24

  - DEFENCE: 20

  - SPCL ATTACK: 24 (+2)

  - SPCL DEFENCE: 18

  - SPEED: 20

  MOVESET:

  Water Slap - Type: Water - 35/35 PP (Deals a wet, punishing slap that has 20% chance of causing confusion)

  Flash - Type: Normal - 40/40 PP (Produce blinding light that drops accuracy by 50%)

  Water Barrier - Type: Water - 15/15 PP (produces a water barrier that sharply increases DEFENCE and SPCL DEFENCE. Lasts 2 turns.)

  NAME: Crystal

  NATURE: Unflappable

  TYPE: Rock

  ACC.: NIL

  LEVEL: 9

  HP: 41/41

  - ATTACK: 15

  - DEFENCE: 21

  - SPCL ATTACK: 18

  - SPCL DEFENCE: 20

  - SPEED: 9

  MOVESET:

  Boulder Punch - Type: Rock - 30/30 PP (Strike with an earth shattering force)

  Charge - Type: Normal - 30/30 PP (Bide energy for two turns before unleashing it on the third. Deals triple SPCL ATTACK)

  NAME: Chippie

  NATURE: Cheerful

  TYPE: Normal

  ACC.: NIL

  LEVEL: 9

  HP: 35/35

  - ATTACK: 9

  - DEFENCE: 8

  - SPCL ATTACK: 9

  - SPCL DEFENCE: 7

  - SPEED: 10

  MOVESET:

  Sand Screen - Type: Normal - 40/40 PP (Lower accuracy by kicking sand up into opponent’s face.)

  Nip - Type: Normal - 35/35 PP (Bite a foe with razor sharp incisors.)

  NAME: Suzy (Suze)

  NATURE: Independent

  TYPE: Dark/Flying

  ACC.: NIL

  LEVEL: 11

  HP: 35/35

  - ATTACK: 12

  - DEFENCE: 10

  - SPCL ATTACK: 11

  - SPCL DEFENCE: 8

  - SPEED: 13

  MOVESET:

  Claw Swipe - Type: Normal - 40/40 PP (Slash sharp claws/nails across a foe.)

  These girlfriends are mine… Yoshi sho
ok his head. To think that a little over a month ago, he was still living at home, dreaming of being a trainer. Now, he was sitting in a GGN booth, thinking about which girlfriends he wanted to deposit.

  Ignoring the girlfriends slowly rotating on the virtual screen in front of him, he collapsed the full stats on the glass panel. To the right of each girlfriend was a big button:

  Deposit

  He tapped the button next to Soph and promptly, her stats and avatar disappeared. The actual ring embedded in the socket also vanished into thin air.

  “Shit!”

  “What did you do?” Poke asked, his voice floating through the curtain.

  Yoshi noticed a new button had taken the place of ‘Deposit’ next to a grayed-out box containing Soph’s stats:

  Withdraw

  Yoshi pressed it, her stats became clear again, as did her form on the screen in front. There was a pulse of light and her ring also reappeared in the socket that Yoshi had originally placed it in.

  “N-nothing,” Yoshi said.

  “Alright, I’m ready now. Go back to the main menu and select the ‘Adopt’ option.”

  Yoshi returned back to the top-level screen and touched ‘Adopt’.

  The black screen recognized his selection and a new prompt appeared:

  Scanning your rings…

  The loading modal of the GF-ring spun for about five seconds this time before it disappeared.

  You can adopt Serenette. Would you like to adopt her?

  Yes/No

  Yoshi smiled. It seemed like eons ago since Yoshi and Starlotte first set out from Topaz. They had been through so much together, she virtually was his girlfriend. Of course, they had to formalize it, which was why they were here.

  “Click Yes. I’ll get a prompt and then authorize it.”

  “OK.”

  Yoshi pressed ‘Yes’.

  Sending Serenette’s adoption authorization request now…

  There was a gentle gong from the booth to Yoshi’s right. The spinning ring loading modal appeared on the black panel once again before a new message faded in:

  Congratulations! You are now the legal owner of Serenette!

  “Wait, that’s it?” Yoshi asked.

  The curtain ruffled behind him and Poke stuck his head in. It was so shiny that it reflected the glare from the glass screen.

  “Yep, all done. Serenette is now yours. Is there anything else you need help with while I’m here?”

  Yoshi turned back to the screen. Her avatar was smiling, the star on each cheek twinkling.It was as if she knew that she now legally belonged to Yoshi.

  “No, that’s it. Thanks again, Professor.”

  “That’s fine. Give me a call if you need anything.” He withdrew his head, paused then stuck it back in. “Try to not get involved with Team Boom. If I’m called up in the middle of my research again, I’ll make sure you suffer the same fate as Tozuck.” With that he disappeared, the sliding door opening and closing as he made his exit.

  Sheesh, just when I thought I had him on my side as well. Yoshi focused on the screen again. The booth’s congratulatory prompt was still on the panel, as was Starry’s gorgeous projection. He could have watched her for the rest of the day, but he had a whole city to explore.

  Yoshi went back to the main screen and looked at the options again. He pressed ‘Withdraw’.

  The loading screen appeared for a fraction of a second before the complete list of Yoshi’s extra girlfriends appeared, consisting only of the single Bridget he had caught in the Caverns.

  The virtual avatar of the ground-type mole girl blinked and squinted, looking slightly nervous.

  NAME: Bridget

  NATURE: Geeky

  TYPE: Ground

  ACC.: NIL

  LEVEL: 11

  HP: 38/38

  - ATTACK: 13

  - DEFENCE: 14

  - SPCL ATTACK: 11

  - SPCL DEFENCE: 13

  - SPEED: 13

  MOVESET:

  Dirt Burst - Type: Ground - 35/35 PP (Strike the foe with dirt projectiles.)

  He gazed up at Bridget’s projection again. Dad had taught him at a young age not to judge girlfriends by their appearances. They were each attractive in their own ways. Yoshi looked past her dumpy physique and squinty eyes. She was wearing a dusty, faded vest and crumbled cargo pants. She’s got a thick bum, that’s something going for her.

  He shook his head. This wasn’t going to work. Yoshi deftly navigated back to the home screen, confidently hitting ‘Deposit’ again. Without hesitating this time, he deposited all of the girlfriends in his party. He got to the end of his list but the system wouldn’t let him put Suzy back.

  Error! You must have at least one girlfriend with you at all times.

  Ah, of course. That made sense. He hit ‘Withdraw’ next to Starry’s name and deposited Suzy. Hitting the home screen button again, he now went back into ‘Withdraw’.

  He straightened his back and crossed his arms. Now he was able to compare the girlfriends one by one and assemble a party that would best suit his needs.

  Seven girlfriends, six spots. He felt tempted to just go with the same six that had brought him through the Caverns.

  He frowned. No. Think this through, Yoshi. He hadn’t seen much of Sapphire yet, but it seems like a place that specialized in water-types. That meant that Crystal, a rock-type; Bridget, a ground-type; and Flick, a water-type would either be weak or ineffective against any trainers he fought who lived here.

  That only left Serenette (Interstellar), Soph (Flying) and Chippie (Normal). That wasn’t going to work. The trainers would be stronger here and surely would have at least three girlfriends in their party. Not to mention that at least some would be travelling trainers like he was. Plus, what about the areas just outside of Sapphire, where his girlfriends would grind? Maybe those didn’t have water-types. He still needed a balance.

  Soph, Flick… Withdraw. Withdraw. The two rings reappeared in the sockets. Crystal... Withdraw. Yes, she was a rock-type, but her performance in the Caverns impressed him. His finger hovered over Suzy, shifting down to Chippie, then to Bridget. Three girlfriends, two slots. His attention shifted to the rings on the right. Interstellar, Flying, Water, Rock… he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

  Abruptly, he hit ‘Home’ then the ‘Exit’ button.

  Are you sure you wish to exit?

  Y/N

  Yoshi hit ‘Y’.

  Thank you for using the Global Girlfriend Network. See you next time!

  Yoshi stepped out of the Mr. Pampers back outside. Clouds had rolled across the sky and obscured the sun, though it didn’t look like it would rain yet. His gut told him that he would be fine with these four girlfriends, at least for now. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. As much as he would like to train them all, the prospect of finding, catching and immediately using new and exotic girlfriends excited him.

  He put his fingers into his four rings at his belt and summoned his girlfriends. Four separate beams of blue light struck the ground and seconds later, four girlfriends stood there.

  “Yo, what’s up?” Soph said, cocking her head.

  “Master,” Flick said, blowing a playful kiss.

  Starry smiled sweetly while Crystal regarded her trainer carefully.

  As they stared at him, Yoshi realized that he didn’t know why he had called them out. “Just wanted to say hi. So… hi.” A wetsuit-clad guy zoomed past on a jet ski in a canal running past Mr. Pampers towards the city.

  “Hey, where’s Suze and Chip?” Flick asked.

  “I’ve deposited them.” The girlfriends shuffled around awkwardly. “I guess that’s why I wanted to call you guys out. I want to build the best possible party and I’ve chosen you four. Starry, Soph, Flick, you’ve been with me from the beginning. Crystal…” The rock-type regarded him levelly. “You were kick-ass back in the Caverns.”

  It was a pathetic excuse of a compliment. Yet, if the rock-type’s half-smile that lit up her
eyes was anything to go by, she was pleased to hear it.

  “I wanted to thank you all for being by my side so far. I can’t promise that you’ll be there for every single battle, but I wanted to tell you that I do appreciate you. If one day you find yourself in the GGN, no hard feelings.”

  “You’re not going to do that to me, you hear me? We had a deal. When I want out, I’m out.” Soph flapped and glared at Yoshi, sending feathers everywhere.

  “From what I’ve heard from girlfriends that have been released, the GGN is pretty nice. It’s a lot like this world: nice, big ponds, grassy meadows. Shops. Cafes. Gyms. Anything a girlfriend would want really. Best of all, there’s no annoying trainers to deal with,” Flick said. “Not that you’re annoying.” She smirked, sticking her tongue out at the bird-kin.

  “As long as you take us out for cake sometimes, I’ll be happy,” Starry said.

  “Where are we going now?” Crystal asked. The rest of them looked at the rock-type, surprised to hear her speak.

  “That’s… a good question.”

  Yoshi looked vaguely in the direction of the canal. Several dozen people dressed in nothing but bathers or bikinis skated over the water. Yoshi went to the side of the waterway. They were moving quite fast, but it looked like they were wearing shoe-sized speed boats on their feet. How they managed to maintain their balance on top of the water, he didn’t know. They all sped towards the skyscrapers in the distance.

  Over twenty canals extended into the cluster of tall buildings. Countless translucent tubes like the one Yoshi saw above the breakfast place squiggled and twisted crazily above them in the same direction.

  “You guys are looking a little lost there.” A topless guy with fluoro-green hair in the shape of a wave came out of Mr. Pampers and strode towards them. He waved enthusiastically with one hand while the thumb of his other was hooked on his tropical board shorts.

  Yoshi looked him up and down. “It’s our first time in Sapphire.”