Orc Glitch- The Mad King Read online

“My favorite.” He wasn’t lathering on the sarcasm, but he wasn’t pretending either. Trays clattered as the nurse busied herself. Five to the hour, every single day. While he didn’t love the food, he did like her punctuality. Cal’s eyes fell on her wide rump and quickly slid off to the right. The brown paper bag that Erika brought in sat on a plastic chair at the other side of the room.

  “Here you go. Let me just first pull up the table for you…” she leaned across and dragged the table over Cal’s legs.

  “Hey um, Jo,”–damn, blurry name tag–“could you do me a favor?”

  “Sure sweetie.”

  “See that brown bag over there? Could you bring it over and put it on my bedside table?”

  The pleasant smile evaporated from her face. “Your girlfriend was so rude. I don’t know what you see in someone like her.”

  “She isn’t my girlfriend.”

  The nurse shuffled to the chair and plonked the bag on Cal’s side. “Good.” The smile returned, her cheeks rosy again. “I’ll be back in half an hour to pick up your tray.” The trolley trundled away. Seconds later, Cal heard her greet the patient in the next room.

  He shoved the table away. Jo might have been punctual, but it didn’t mean his appetite was. He reached over and hooked his hand into the handle of the paper bag. ValorVale had been on his mind for the last few days. Sure, having his neck ripped out by a walking, talking jaguar almost made him shit his pants, but it was worth it to experience walking again.

  Cal unboxed the headset, powered it up and slipped it on.

  “Enter ValorVale.”

  20,155th Cycle

  2-Karst

  Mercat Lake

  Cal lifted his legs and took a few steps forward and back. Sweet. “Status screen.”

  NAME: Callahan Rogers

  AGE: 29 (Earth)

  CLASS: Orc Fighter

  LVL: 6

  HP: 105/105

  MP: 105/105

  AFF: Earth (x1)

  STR: 10

  DEF: 10

  AGL: 11

  INT: 10

  ABILITY: Examine, Verdant Whisper

  SKILL: Earth Wall – Level 1 – Next Level in 47%

  WEAPON: Axe – Level E – Next Level in 87%

  Wait what? Where did my points go? Must’ve been that apeshit werejaguar. At least that single point put into Agility managed to save. Cal gazed out to Mercat Lake on his right. Did time pass in game while he was gone? The large, colored discs that hung in the sky gave him his answer: the brown moon was now at the back of the queue, the red moon looked like it had just started sinking into the lake and the silvery moon behind it was bearing down on top.

  He looked into the mercury-like water, touching the tusks that protruded from his bottom jaw. No one’s going to want to mess with me. He spied his hatchet dangling off his hip. They will when they see this pathetic excuse of a weapon… time to find me a battle axe.

  A draft blew out from his left, disturbing the tranquillity of the lake.

  Come… in…

  Cal watched the leafy plants flap in the wind. Last time I listened to a plant, I nearly shat my guts out. He was beginning to think that Verdant Whisper wasn’t that good an Ability. Still, there wasn’t much he could do at this stage but go back into the dense greenery. He drew his hatchet and trudged back into the forest.

  “Yah!” The final bat screeched and gurgled. Cal sheathed his weapon and put his hands on his hips. Looks like that single point of Agility made a difference. Yes, he still felt as slow as an obese hippo, but he wasn’t struggling to connect his axe with the bats… as much. The one he had just killed was flapping on the ground, trying to get back onto its claws. Cal crunched through the foliage and crouched. He gripped the hatchet above the bat. Hasta la vista, batty.

  A plant next to the bat caught his eye. The air clung damp and still in the forest, so how was it waving to and fro? Ignoring the bat in its death throes, he plucked it out of the ground. Its fronds kept waving slowly as he Examined it:

  You’ve found Healing Herb!

  These herbs can be found all through Terrafaytum. Tapping into the vigour that flows beneath the land allows it to signal its existence by waving to people passing by. Heals 10% of HP.

  Nice! Cal looked up at his health bar in the top-left of his vision:

  HP: 80/105

  Cal opened his jaw and tossed the whole thing in. The Healing Herb tickled his throat going down. Mmm… lime and peach. He glanced at his health gauge again:

  HP: 88/105

  Are there any more of these around here? On all fours, he snuffled around through the foliage. All Cal could hear were the murmurings of the trees as they watched him curiously.

  Cal perked up. It wasn’t just the trees that were watching him. He glanced over his shoulder. He was about as deep into the forest as the last–

  “Earth Wall.” Cal saw the ruby cat eyes glowing to his right followed by flaming javelins flying straight for him. “Argh!” three crunched through his earthen barrier, piercing his ribs, shoulder and hip.

  -7 Damage!

  -10 Damage!

  -12 Damage!

  You are Burned! x1.5 damage by fire attacks!

  Cal stumbled to his feet, running deeper into the forest. Gotta get away from these cats. Ignoring the blood dribbling down his side, he drew his hatchet. Hadn’t a fireball crashed through here the last time?

  Cal tripped. Shutting his eyes, he waited for the taste of dirt and dead leaves. It never came; he found himself being hoisted up. “No!” He reached through the net as his hatchet thudded into the forest floor. He twisted around, trying to get a better look at the five werejaguars staring up at him. Two of them blended into the green, leafy trees around them. The remaining three were blue, dusky-gold and grey-white.

  One of the green one’s furred hands shot out, grabbing his lighter green comrade by the scruff of their neck. “Don’t stand right underneath it you imbecile. What if his blood is poisoned?”

  “Let me down!” Cal bellowed. The pack of werejaguars sprang a couple yards back.

  “It speaks Common Tongue,” one of the other green ones growled. “Only orc captains are able to speak it.”

  “He must have been coming back to claim the corpse of the one from the last moon,” the gold one said.

  “…Or he’s here for reconnaissance and the rest of his pack is waiting outside the forest.” The blue one crossed his arms, his tail swishing about.

  “Let’s take it back to Elder Keizen.” The green one that had its scruff yanked suggested.

  The blue one gripped its spear and it came alight with fire. “I say we kill him, scout around the edge of the forest and wipe out the rest of the horde.”

  Ugh my head. It could have been the blood loss, the swaying of the net or the bickering of the werejaguars, but a headache suddenly gripped his brain.

  Warning!

  IdentiChip #0210172011 cannot participate in the Battle of Urath.

  OK

  What the hell was the Battle of Urath? He focused on the “OK” on the bottom of the screen and the notification minimized to the cross in the corner. He really needed a paracetamol. Cal brought up the settings screen and hovered over the ‘Exit’ button. It was greyed out. He squinted at it, but it wouldn’t let him leave ValorVale. Come on, not now.

  “Are you stupid? If they’ve laid a trap for us, we’re done for!”

  “One, orcs are too stupid to lay traps. All they’re good at is rushing in and getting themselves killed. Two, are you suggesting that a horde of orcs would be stronger than me?”

  “I’m not an orc captain. There’s no horde. Let me down,” Cal yelled.

  “Silence!” All of the werejaguars but the grey-white one yowled in unison at their hostage. Peas and mash was sounding pretty good right about now.

  “We shall take him to Keizen.” Cal twisted to get a better view of who this voice belonged to. The four cats who had snapped back at him now looked at the grey-white one, which was
staring up at him.

  “But Gram…”

  The grey-white werejaguar called Gram looked at the green one who just spoke. He visibly shrunk away, bowing his head. Damn, if looks could kill.

  “Kai, cut the orc down.” Wait, cut me down? Cal looked at Gram then closed his eyes, the trees warping around him. The blue werejaguar jumped onto the tree and scrambled up. In three seconds, Cal was looking into his snarling face.

  “You!”

  “Yeah, it’s me.”

  “I killed you!”

  “I missed you too.”

  “Kai,” Gram said, “what’s the matter?”

  “This is the orc I killed on 1-Sibelle.” Kai’s bewilderment would have been funnier if Cal wasn’t unarmed and swaying in a net 15 feet off the ground.

  “Let him down first.”

  Kai’s fur pricked up. “I don’t know how you’re back here, but I will kill you as many times as I need to before you’re dead for good.”

  “Good luck with–”

  Kai’s furred hand flashed through the air and he plummeted. Cal’s heart tried to push his way up his throat before he slammed into the forest floor.

  Fuck this shit… he rolled onto his back, looking up at four werejaguars. Kai leapt from the top of the tree and thudded into the floor. He grabbed his spear where it had been resting against a tree.

  “I still say we kill him.”

  “No.” Of the five, Gram was looking at Cal with the least hatred in his eyes. It was more guarded curiosity than anything else. “You two, help the orc up. Bring up the rear, make sure we aren’t ambushed. Ramsay, heal his wounds. Kai, lead the way back to the Village.”

  The golden werejaguar seemed to be in two minds about healing Cal. Another look from Gram and he dipped his head in acquiescence. The green werejaguars hoisted Cal up and snatched their hands back. Ramsay shuffled in, looking at Cal’s side.

  “It’s just these spots then is it?”

  “Yeah, I’ve got a killer headache as well. Got anything for that?”

  Ramsay’s head shot up. His yellow eyes – paler than Gram's – narrowed as he bared his teeth.

  “Just heal his wounds, Ramsay.” Gram nodded at him. Ramsay relaxed. His nails weren’t as long and were clipped. They were furrier than the other Werejaguars. He held a hand to the wound at Cal’s hip. Muttering for a moment, a pale, green light emanated from the middle of his palm. Seconds later, the wound closed up.

  “Thanks,” Cal muttered. If the werejaguars weren’t already agitated by the presence of an orc in their home, they were after the gratitude this one showed.

  “What is your name?” The green werejaguars were busying themselves binding Cal’s hands when Gram asked this question. “My name is Gram.”

  “Yeah, I overheard. My name’s Cal.”

  Gram paused, cocking her head to one side. “That is a strange name for an orc. Then again, I haven’t made the acquaintances of many orcs.”

  “Well, I’m not an orc exactly.”

  Kai scoffed, a growl vibrating in his throat. “Either this orc knows how to jest or he’s addled.”

  “Kai, lead the way,” Gram said. The party of six started moving deeper into the forest. Cal kept his head down. No point trying to piss off these cats any more than need be. He opened the Settings screen and clicked the greyed out ‘Exit’ button. Was there a way to turn off the Sol headset in game? What I’d give for Google right about now.

  He sighed and stared into Kai’s back. As if sensing he was being watched, his long, blue tail swished irritably. Some limited stats appeared:

  NAME: Kai

  CLASS: Werejaguar Warrior

  LVL: 12

  HP: 140/140

  MP: 131/131

  He looked to his right where the dusky-golden werejaguar walked in silence:

  NAME: Ramsay

  CLASS: Werejaguar Healer

  LVL: 8

  HP: 90/90

  MP: 180/180

  …Then to his left, where Gram was walking slightly ahead:

  NAME: Gram

  CLASS: Werejaguar Captain

  LVL: 21

  HP: 275/275

  MP: 210/210

  Captain, huh? Would explain why the other cats were so pussywhipped.

  Dappled red moonlight broke through the canopy, lighting the path ahead. “Where are we going?”

  “We’re taking you to our… leader,” Gram said. “She’ll want to know what you’re doing in Rawdriad Forest, so you had better get your story straight.”

  Something told Cal that telling the leader of the werejaguars that he was a human dressed in orc’s skin from a different world wouldn’t fly. “What are you going to do with me?”

  “We’re going to extract information from you. Once we’re done, we’ll probably shove a stick up your anus and roast you over our communal fire.” Kai laughed, deep and throaty.

  “We will let the Elder be the judge of that,” Gram said. She stopped walking, her triangular ears atop her head twitching. The other cats did the same thing, suddenly wary. “Dyre, Rayze, go on ahead and inform the Elder that we bring an orc back.” The two, green werejaguars acquiesced, speeding ahead of the group and out of sight. "If you have brought reinforcements, now would be the best time to tell us."

  Cal thumped a mottled, green fist to his chest. "I solemnly swear that I am alone." For a fraction of a second, he considered saying 'up to no good', but he figured there wasn't much point in seeing if the werejaguars got his Harry Potter reference.

  After walking for another 15 minutes in silence, the trees started thinning. Logs 50 feet tall and sharpened at the top were bound together, forming a front wall that stretched wide either side of a gate with a raised drawbridge.

  Rawdriad Village

  He risked a look at Ramsay. Could NPCs see the words in the air too? “Eyes to the ground.” Cal concentrated on the mat of brown below. The moist, spongy carpet of dead leaves had given way to hard, grainy dirt.

  “Karst imbues you, Gram,” the sentry greeted.

  “And you, Arth,” the snowy Werejaguar replied.

  “We bring a hostage back, sentry,” Kai snapped. “I trust that the scouts we sent back informed you of this?”

  “They did.” Arth leaned to the side and looked at Cal. “You think he knows anything about the one who helped the eryn escape last moon?”

  Kai pointed at Cal. “It’s the same–”

  “It’s possible,” Gram interjected. “I want the Elder to take a look at him.”

  “She has granted your party access,” Arth said, ignoring a seething Kai. “Would you like a rope to tie around the orc’s neck?”

  “There will be no need,” Gram said.

  “You may proceed. Welcome back to Rawdriad Village.”

  Damn, how long did the devs work on this place? There were houses made of logs bound in a similar way to the outer wall. They weren’t exactly arranged neatly in rows, but they did seem to have some groupings. Cal straightened his back and looked around. Werejaguars of varying colours were engaged in everyday activities. To his right, a group of them were washing cloth in a river ten handspans in width. The dull clang of metal on metal made him whip his head to his left. Two taller werejaguars gripped lances aflame, snarling inches away from each other. Their cat buddies cheered them on in a ring around them. Many stopped what they were doing and stared at the party walking along the central road.

  A small werejaguar with fluffy, pink fur we bounded up and jumped onto Kai. “Brother! You’re back!”

  Kai embraced his sister tightly before setting her down. “I’m taking this big, ugly orc to see Grandmother. Be a good cub and play with the others.” So the scary, blue Werejaguar warrior was really just a pussycat. Kai’s sister peeped her head out and stared at Cal. She snarled, revealing perfectly formed, feline teeth before bounding away.

  The party continued onward, stopping only to have a few words with werejaguars who approached them. Cal ignored the vicious snarls and kept
his head down. His stomach rumbled.

  Kai broke off from the group and ran up a long staircase five yards wide. It led up to a building made of thick logs, resting on a stone slab. Turrets surged up on either side, with small, glassless windows high up. It rose 25, maybe 30 feet tall. The canopy opened up above, letting the moonlight, brilliant and red cascade into the village. He spoke with the two guards at the front of the door. A moment later, they unlocked it and dragged the two doors open.

  “Come on Cal, time for you to meet our Elder,” Gram said. It was the first time anyone had referred to him in the game by his name.

  “Anything I should know about him?” Cal asked, ignoring the leers of the guards.

  “Firstly, it’s her, not him. Secondly, you would do well not to insult her intelligence.”

  “This is her home?”

  “Yes. It’s the fortress of the Elder and the Chief…” Gram trailed off, as if she found something wrong with her explanation.

  Ramsay excused himself, stopping outside the fortress. Gram and Cal walked through the hall. It was bare, save for a few torches that burned purple, red and orange standing about five yards apart. Guards holding spears narrowed their eyes as the three walked past. Minutes later, they came to the end of the hall. More guards stood here. If possible, they looked even bigger than the ones outside. Cal Examined them:

  NAME: ???????

  CLASS: Werejaguar Guard

  LVL: 18

  HP: 150/150

  MP: 141/141

  NAME: ???????

  CLASS: Werejaguar Guard

  LVL: 19

  HP: 162/162

  MP: 182/182

  Spotting Gram, they raised a closed fist to head height before dragging open the doors. The werejaguar and the orc entered.

  Much like the hall, this room was bare. At the end was a slightly raised platform with two thrones in the middle. Doors either side of the room were closed. No ornaments or decorations adorned the walls. The most impressive feature of the room was the fire burning in the pit in the middle of the room. It was like the torches that lit the hallway, except 20 times bigger. Its fiery tongues licked nearly two yards across and five feet high.