Orc Glitch- The Mad King Read online

  Cal drew his iron axe and started sidestepping and moving backwards. “Kai, can you find a square rock?”

  “What?”

  “Just do it!”

  Cal stepped back until he bumped into a smooth, flat surface. He glanced backwards; the cliff face was inclined slightly. If the stonecritter hit it hard enough, could the entire thing fall over and crush it?

  The stonecritter now had its four feet planted into the ground. It ground its front-left foot into the gravel again. Cal looked over to Kai. He was lugging a rock the size of a small speaker 10 yards away. He looked back in time just to see the creature in its death spin again.

  The weirdest memory decided to surface. He was 12, maybe 13. Him, Erika and a couple other neighbourhood boys decided that they would play “Chicken”. The rules of the game? Stand in front of incoming traffic and be the last to go back to the safety of the kerb before you got hit. Of course, cars would swerve out of the way when they saw idiot kids playing these games, but that didn’t stop them from. There was a rush you got, like you were shaking hands with Death but he was telling you, ‘not today’.

  As the stone creature bore down on him, he could feel Death watching again. When it was three yards away, Cal leaped out of the way. He could feel the beast’s shell inches away from his feet as he tumbled into the ground. It crashed into the cliff face as planned. The hulking mass of rock that it hit shuddered but didn’t budge.

  OK, plan B. “Kai, bring that rock over!” The werejaguar hesitated, as if wanting to disobey just to spite him. He begrudgingly lugged the stone over. “Put it there,” Cal said, pointing to a spot a couple feet from the back of the groaning creature. “Now take your spear, wedge the blade underneath the stonecritter and let’s use the stone to flip it over.”

  Kai stood there, flummoxed. Cal jogged over. “Give me that.” He snatched the spear out of Kai’s hand. The stun effect on the stonecritter was already beginning to wear off. With the spear in place, Cal began to push downwards on the spear.

  “It’s going to break!” Kai whimpered. Cal was throwing all his weight into it, but the stonecritter lifted only an inch off the ground. Jesus, how heavy was this thing?

  “Give me a hand!” Cal said. Kai looked in two minds. His red eyes flicked from the stonecritter, his spear and Cal. Finally, he grabbed the end of his spear and swung himself on it so that he was perched on top. The stonecritter lifted about six inches off the ground. Its groaning had now made way for angry grunting.

  “Come on!” Cal urged. The creature’s legs had come out again. Three of them supported itself on the ground while the fourth kicked at the spear. The ground shook as the stonecritter triumphantly planted the fourth foot on the ground. Cal fell onto his back while Kai stumbled. His spear was airborne yet again, flung away like an elastic band at full stretch.

  “Shit…” Cal said. Kai had scurried off after his spear again. The stonecritter was pissed off. It was only five yards away. Cal got to his feet and drew his axe again. He needed more time.

  “Earth Wall.” Cal cast the craft such that a wall came up right next to it. Its grunting stopped. Now it was snuffling curiously at the new earthen structure, wondering how it got there. It wouldn’t take long it to realize that it could just walk around it. That was of course if Cal’s mana didn’t run out first.

  “What are you doing?” Kai asked, spear in hand.

  “More than you are,” Cal shot back. “I’m buying us some time. The stonecritter can’t attack us if he’s stuck behind my Earth Wall.” The orc stared exasperatedly at the werejaguar. “Let’s just go around him.”

  “No,” Kai said flatly. “Werejaguars never run away from a battle.”

  “You ran away from the flood that came down the valley last moonshift.”

  “That was different.” Cal’s MP gauge was draining fast. “My mana’s full again. I’m going to try breaking through its shell again.”

  “You idiot!” Cal exploded. “You can’t do it. You’re not strong enough. Put your goddamn ego aside. Every moment we spend here, Zkar gets closer to death.”

  Kai took a step back. For a moment, it looked like he was going to impale Cal with the spear again. He clenched his jaw and looked away. “Release your Earth Wall,” Kai growled.

  “What? Why?”

  “Just do it,” Kai said. “You’ll need the MP. I have an idea.”

  Cal eyed the werejaguar then silently did as instructed. The earth collapsed into a cloud of dust. Indeed, the stonecritter had begun making its way around the wall before the craft had been released. It blinked its black, beady eyes as it tried to make out the forms of the trespassers through the dust.

  “Care to tell me what it is before this bastard mows us down?”

  “How strong is your Earth Wall?” Kai asked.

  “What do you mean? Like how thick can I make it or–”

  “No,” Kai snapped. “Do you think it can lift the stonecritter?”

  Cal stared at the Werejaguar, gears in his brain starting to grind. “I… don’t know.”

  Kai crossed his arms. “Only one way to find out.”

  The stonecritter trumpeted in fury, seeing that the two intruders were still there. It adopted its charging position.

  “Do it now!”

  Cal raised an open hand at the beast, focusing on the earth right beneath it. “Earth Wall.”

  At first, there was nothing. Suddenly, a foot-long column of dirt and pebbles pushed out of the ground. The stonecritter had begun to charge forward. It screeched as the Earth Wall climbed into the air, taking it along with it. Seconds later, it came crashing back down, falling onto its shell, its legs flailing in the air.

  “Holy shit, it worked!” Cal whooped. The stonecritter wailed, never having found itself in such a compromising position before, trying to right itself. Cal wiped his head, giving his armpit a sniff in the process. Note to self: find the nearest lake or river afterwards. “Hey we’ve defeated it, let’s–”

  Kai’s silhouette was against the moon, his spear raised and afire. He roared and with both hands drove it deep into the belly of the stonecritter. It thrashed momentarily, its screeches bouncing around the walls of the valley. Each screech was quieter than the last until finally it whimpered and fell still.

  The number ‘4’ pulsed in the top right of his vision and Cal opened it immediately:

  Gong!

  Level Up!

  Level Up!

  Level Up!

  You have been allocated 30 points. Use these to improve your base statistics.

  Gong!

  Skill Up!

  You have gained one (1) level for your Skill Earth Wall! Mana Usage -2%/sec.

  Gong!

  Comrade Support Up!

  You and Kai of Rawdriad Forest are now Support Level C! All base stats will be further boosted. Continue fighting together to unlock Fusion Attacks!

  Gong!

  New Skill!

  You have learnt Earthquake! Temporarily stuns enemies and deals minor Earth damage. Airborne units are immune when flying.

  Woot, Christmas has come early! First thing’s first, those 30 points. Cal opened up his stat screen. 30 didn’t go into four evenly. It would be 7, 8, 7, 8. Then again, he was finding that Earth Wall was the key skill that saved his bacon in the heat of the battle. Could be worth putting a bit more into Intelligence.

  Kai had jumped off the lifeless stonecritter. He had left his spear inside it. The way that it bobbled around on its shell made it look like a giant, grotesque spinning top.

  “Did you see that?” Kai said, striding over to Cal. “By Karst, that beast didn’t know what hit him!” Cal drowned out the Werejaguar’s excessive self-congratulations and focused on allocating his points. Moments later, he was nodding in satisfaction:

  NAME: Callahan Rogers

  AGE: 29 (Earth)

  CLASS: Orc Fighter

  LVL: 10

  HP: 129/129

  MP: 137/137

  AFF: Earth (x1
)

  STR: 19+2%

  DEF: 20+1%

  AGL: 19+3%

  INT: 23+1%

  ABILITY: Examine, Verdant Whisper

  SKILL:

  Earth Wall – Level 3 – Next Level in 72%

  Earthquake – Level 1 – Next Level in 99%

  WEAPON: Axe – Level E – Next Level in 87%

  Sweet, finally double-digit in level! “Hey, did you level up?” Kai asked.

  “Just finished allocating my points,” Cal said, closing his screen. “You?”

  “What does it look like I’m doing?” Kai said. Cal cast a sideways glance at the stonecritter. It was still twitching, causing it to spin slowly on the vertical axis that Kai’s spear created through it.

  “Alright, check it out,” Kai said, puffing his chest out.

  Cal obliged:

  NAME: Kai

  AGE: 47 (Terrafaytum)

  CLASS: Werejaguar Warrior

  LVL: 16

  HP: 174/174

  MP: 155/155

  AFF: Fire (x1)

  STR: 41+2%

  DEF: 42+1%

  AGL: 38+3%

  INT: 28+1%

  ABILITY: Examine

  SKILL: Flaming Spear – Level 8 – Next Level in 12%

  WEAPON: Lance/Spear – Level D – Next Level in 81%

  “Nice.”

  “We’ll set up camp here. Not sure if you have noticed, but it’s already three-Hyten.” Cal looked at large, white moon. It seemed to have dipped a bit more into the horizon, but he couldn’t be sure. He would have to take Kai’s word for it. “You find some drywood. I’m going to start taking this stonecritter apart.”

  Of course, the loot. Kai jumped back onto the stonecritter. He grabbed the spear and used it to tip the entire creature onto its side. “Your axes.” Kai extended a hand out to him. Cal stared at the Werejaguar’s hand, eventually slipping his weapons out from their holsters.

  He walked out from the space where they had been fighting the stonecritter for the last… how long had it been? Cal flexed his neck and shook out his arms and legs. So the moon had already shifted. It definitely felt like he had been fighting that thing for the better part of a day.

  Cal scrounged around. As if knowing what he was looking for, the sparse shrubs and weeds spoke to him, guiding him further up the mountain to where some dead trees jutted out of the ground, their branches curled in a ‘come hither’. Cal snapped off the branches, collecting them into a pile on the ground. Collecting them into a bundle, he walked back down to the clearing.

  Kai had been busy. He had hacked off the entire stone shell, separating the fleshy inside from the hard outside.

  “Put the wood over there. I’ll light it later.”

  The branches tumbled out of Cal’s hands into a pile on the floor. He silently watched the were jaguar as he deftly continued hacking away. It was a good thing Cal wasn’t queasy. Kai had pulled the legs of the creature out of their sockets. After cutting away the thick musculature, he used Cal’s hatchet to cut the cartilage away until all that was remaining were four legs with a large, grey bone protruding out the middle of each one.

  Kai stood up and put his hands on his hips, admiring his work. “Alright, where did you put the firewood? It’s time to cook.”

  Cal was gobsmacked. “We’re going to eat the stonecritter?”

  The werejaguar was non-plussed. “You heard the amulet, ‘meat is gamey and nutritious’. We’ll store some of it in the satchel for later.”

  8

  Two Brains Are Better Than One

  20,155th Cycle

  3-Hyten

  “You didn’t do that poorly before.” The crackling of the flames almost drowned out Kai’s half-compliment. Cal watched the sparkflames sear the remaining stonecritter leg. They were sitting together, not quite side by side but not at opposite ends of the fire either.

  You were an insolent shit that almost got the both of us killed… is what Cal felt tempted to say. The werejaguar’s decent cooking skills were his saving grace. Crying about his spear that he had lost (twice!) as if it were a pacifier… how old was he? 46? 47? Of course, Terrafaytum years didn’t equate to Earth years, but that still didn’t stop Cal from judging him. He exhibited classic signs of a privileged brat coddled and raised with a silver spoon in his mouth. He had to give it to him though: his idea to use Earth Wall and flip what was now their meal was a stroke of genius.

  “Yeah, you were pretty good too.”

  “‘Pretty good’? Surely you jest? I delivered the finishing blow. What if the stonecritter righted itself? We could still be here, fighting the damned creature.”

  Cal set his mouth into a firm line. Spoke too soon. Cal tried venison once; after he had gotten his first pay check, he took Mom out to the fancy French restaurant downtown. It was stringy and rich, just like the stonecritter meat.

  Cal took another bite of seared stonecritter leg. “So Zkar is your brother then.”

  Kai’s masturbatory remarks came to an abrupt halt. He got up, turned the stonecritter leg over to the other side and sat back down, a little further from Cal now.

  “Yes,” he said curtly. The Hyten breeze suddenly grew chiller. Cal inched closer to the fire.

  “I’m sorry about about saving the eryn that night. Maybe your brother–”

  Kai stood up abruptly. “Words are for the weak, orc.” The fire popped and fluttered, dancing with a playful breeze. “Sleep now. We’re three, maybe four moonshifts out from Gresshia. If you don’t wake, I’m going to leave you behind.”

  “What about that?” Cal said, gesturing at the gigantic drumstick cooking in front of him.

  “I’m going to turn it into rations and put it into Grandmo – the Elder’s satchel.”

  Cal looked down at the satchel, which lay a few feet away amongst some rocks, hidden from prying eyes. He had been so busy on this quest that he had completely forgotten that this land, everything and everyone in it was just a game. He bent his knees and took off his worn hide boots. If he didn’t know better, he’d think that he had gangrene.

  Cal was surprised as how quickly he had taken to being an orc. That in of itself didn’t freak him out. What freaked him out was that he had already gotten used to walking, running and using his legs like any ‘normal’ person.

  “Hey!” Kai barked.

  Cal shook himself out of the reverie. “What?”

  “Just checking a creeperslug hadn’t crawled into your ear and started eating your brain.” Cal clapped his hands to his ears, eyes going wide. “You’re fine. It seems like you’re just as addled as you normally are.”

  Cal opened his mouth then closed it. No point trying to start an argument at this point. Ever since their duel with the stonecritter, the werejaguar and the orc had reached an uneasy alliance. Was there some affection in Kai’s verbal jabs?

  “Alright then. Good night,” Cal said.

  “What?” Kai gave him a flummoxed look.

  “I… don’t worry.” Cal trudged away from the fire, settling under a rock overhang. It didn’t keep the wind away, but it wasn’t that cold anyway. Cal rolled onto his side, drawing his legs towards his chest. He was so tired that he forgot that he was going to check and see whether the “Exit” button had activated itself again.

  Cal opened his eyes; something had woken him up. He checked his wrist reflexively and cursed. How long would it take before he got used to not having a smartwatch? He got to his feet. The fire had burned out, licks of smoke snatched away by the breeze. He stretched then left the rock overhang. He looked around the stonecritter’s nest. No sign of the werejaguar or his precious spear.

  “You bastard,” Cal said under his breath, remembering what he said last night. He wouldn’t actually leave him here on his own… would he?

  There was a sound from behind of gravel being disturbed. Cal turned around, instinctively drawing his hatchet. It was sticky with blue guts from the stonecritter.

  “Kai?” A movement on the ground caught his eye.
The satchel had moved. Cal stared at it, then took a step towards it. It started skipping along the ground. Something was pulling it, strap first. It was scampering towards the narrow part of the valley that led towards Gresshia.

  “Hey!” Cal shouted. This only made the thing panic and pull the bag away faster. I cannot lose that satchel. Cal set off after it. He caught glimpses of the small, round and grey creature. Cal didn’t know how it could move so fast, considering its size and shape. It zigzagged across the path, trying to lose Cal.

  Lucky I put those points into Agility. The endless travelling on foot helped a lot as well.

  “Examine,” Cal said, keeping his eyes trained on the creature.

  NAME: Chatterling

  LVL: 5

  AFF: Earth

  HP: 50/50

  MP: 50/50

  ABILITY: Needle Spit

  A shy creature that lives in mountains. They are a communal species that love to horde things stolen from travellers. Weak on their own, they will attack in large groups and adopt guerrilla strategies to eventually wear their opponent down.

  Cal dismissed the message. At least it explained why it took his bag. How long had they been watching him for? Did they steal Kai’s spear? Was that why he wasn’t there? The chatterling took a sharp right. It was 10 yards away right up against the side of a cliff.

  “Gotcha,” Cal breathed. Cal advanced on the chatterling. Its tiny, black arms hurriedly pulled the shoulder strap like it was reeling in a fish until it was clasping the satchel in both arms. It looked like it was holding a really small tube, which it brought to its face.

  “What the…” Cal felt something zip past his ear. “What was that?” The chatterling screeched in frustration. It spun on its heel and faced the wall again. Cal raised his hatchet. “Give me back the satchel and I’ll let you live.”

  The chatterling then jumped. It shouldn’t have been able to jump high, with inch-long, spindly legs that looked like they could barely support the weight of its coconut-sized body. But it could really jump. It flew up about five feet, latching onto a crag on the cliff face. The satchel dangled right in front of Cal.